me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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