wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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