every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can you bring me the toilet please
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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