It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just pynch a tree in the face
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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