I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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