I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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