so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
