I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
