also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
