He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
