watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
it glows. i had to have it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
