Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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