it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
from now on my penis is your penis
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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