Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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