Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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