Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
