He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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