I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
