and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
