38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
