I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
