im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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