oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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