absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
