I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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