I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
