new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
