So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
