A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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