there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
