Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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