guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
