11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
