The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
