Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
