I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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