I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
