So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
