So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
