I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
