Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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