There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
