you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
