He uses pillows to masturbate.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
