I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
