dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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