i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
