Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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