I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
