I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
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