At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
