Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize