The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
